It has been over a week since the confirmation of that Paul Walker has passed away in a car crash. At first, I prayed it was a hoax and he would hop on Twitter. Then, I got emotional about the death of DJ AM too and then Lee Thompson Young’s death. At 28, I have never really experienced death first hand. When my grandparents passed, I was too young to remember it. Plus, my family lived on the other side of the world, so I didn’t see them that often.
After all the initial thoughts of death subsided, my first thought was: how can I truly live my life? How can I know when my time comes that I have given my all. First, I need to start really living for me and my happiness. I have talked about it over and over that I put others before me to see them happy. Friends call me when I want to be left alone, but ultimately I feel something must be wrong, so I take their call.
I put myself on hold just to make them happy, which makes me feel unhappy in some respect. There have even been times that I keep a hidden resentment towards them.
I don’t want to be cliche, but you never know when it is your time. Are you truly living your life or letting your life pass you by? Stop doing meaningless stuff, stop putting yourself last, and stop doing stuff you hate. Stop it because tomorrow isn’t promised and you need to be happy now.
If you don’t know what makes you happy, it’s time to find it. It’s time to dig deeper and find your source of happiness. Go past the surface. Go past the pains. I am committing to a better Tasha in 2014 starting now. My happiness matters before anyone else’s.
Find your happiness now, not tomorrow.