Do you want to know one of the biggest struggle I had in 2015? I will let you know now, it really had nothing to do with business and more with my personal life. In 2014 and 2015, I outgrew so many friends that had been there for me since college that it hurt. There was a pain and struggle inside to come to grips that what was great in the past was not working now. Often I am asked what happens when you outgrow your friends during your entrepreneurship journey. Today, I wanted to share just that with you. To be completely honest, I am not an expert on this and I am still learning.
People Grow Apart
I don’t know why this is a hard concept for people to understand but we all grow apart. We outgrow our friends when we decided to start a business because of growth and evolution. Its pretty darn simple you have chosen a different road from them in life and your roads are no longer going the same path. This was something hard for me to comprehend. I truly believed that the friends I had would be the ones to be at my wedding, baby shower, travel with me and much more. Never did it come across my mind we would grow apart. Launching and maintaining a business is extremely hard thing to do that most people don’t make it. Add balancing life, family, friends, travel, money, church and other activities with it. We separate not because of something evil happen. We separate because our paths are different this point in life.
Cherish Your Good Friendships
In the last couple years one thing I have learned to do is balance and cherish friendships. I do not have as many friends as I did when I first launched my initial company but the ones I do have I make sure to have constant communication with. Wanting them to know that they matter in my life and every phone call is not about me or my business. I want to know how its going in their life from family, business, work, kids, travel, religion and much more. Good friendships are hard to come by especially as we get older and get stuck in our ways. We are selfish people by nature we all have our moments. It is important to step back once and awhile to make sure you are nurturing the relationships you do have. One thing I love doing is sending friends Starbucks gift cards, notebooks, flowers and more. I want them to know their relationship matters to me.
Don’t Be Passive Aggressive
This is a huge one for me when it comes to growing apart with friends I have known before and on my journey of entrepreneurship. Out of all the relationships that outgrew each other was there some malice in my opinion. Could’ve have the situation been handled differently, yes it couldve went completely different. Instead, I was passive aggressive when it came to the situation. I was vocal to other friends of what had transpired and even unfold the person on a couple social media platforms. We are all adults and should handle all situations like adults. This friendship came to head when I decided to launch ICB Consults and the friend was pretty vocal on their opinions regarding that. I did not like her thoughts towards my new business venture. Instead of voicing that in a mature manner I succumbed to be passive aggressive which solves nothing. Have an opinion dialogue with people regarding how you feel especially if you are wanting some type of relationship. To this day, she is not someone I would per se call if something amazing happen in my life. The relationship was tarnished and I have to be okay with my decisions made that day.