Okay, to be honest, I was not planning on writing a blog post for my birthday. I wanted to bring back the Life Lessons blog post I used to share in 2013 but thought no one was reading those suckers, and it’s time-consuming. Then yesterday, I was texting my best friend Brandi, and she asked if I was writing a blog post for my birthday. So, you can thank my bestie for this blog post and remind me to write what my heart desires, so monthly Life Lessons are coming back.
Today, I turned 32 years old wow that is something I never really thought I would say out loud. Nor, the fact that I have been in business eight years. That is mind blowing to believe that in my twenties I decided to follow a not well thought out dream of being my boss. When I first started this entrepreneurial journey, it was vastly different than what most people go through now. When you walked into Borders, they had books focused on Brick & Mortar stores, eBay or making money online. There was nothing for the industry I was planning on joining. I just winged it by getting my hands dirty and learning everything possible.
Let me tell you a little secret, someone who is willing to learn and get their hands dirty will go further than those who only want to watch from the sidelines than jump in when it’s time to get the glory.
Since I have not done a life lessons post all year I am going, to sum up, these last six months for you. This is going to be one of the most real posts I have ever written. I hope whoever reads this post sees the beauty of what God is doing in their life and understand the storm they are going through is making them stronger.
This year, I started the year with losing all my clients but three. That took my income down drastically, to say the least. Ending the year going into the new year within days finding out I would not be taking on those clients, my contracts with big clients just vanished, and I cried. People were always reaching out to me on how could they build a six figure company as I did, but in my life, I didn’t know how I was going to pay my bills. If you don’t know, I have the responsibility of taking care of my mother who is mentally ill. Taking care of her encompasses paying rent, lights, the internet, getting groceries and everything else. I was not just carrying a burden for myself but my mother’s load too.
When I say, I cried a lot in that first month of the year that was an understatement. However, we are in July, and I haven’t had to take a part-time job or stop my love of helping others.
During this time, I was trying to make fetch happen in all ways possible by launching new services or whatever I could do to make fast money. Something, I honestly hate because it’s not genuine it’s out of urgency. I never want to be a business owner like that. Kick Start Your eCommerce tanked. Business Bestie was on the back burner. No one was signing up for consulting. Digital sales were nonexistent.
Top: Marshalls Jeans: American Eagle Heels: Loeffler Randal Platform Sandals Bag: Louis Vuitton.
Images by Charles of ielev8studios
However, every month all my bills were paid to range from insurance, phone, credit card and you know Sallie Mae. Then boom February I lost another client. Once again, I had to go to my Zero Budget Method to figure out what I would or would not be paying. At one point, I remember telling God that if I stopped paying my tithes, I would have money for XYZ. Then I remember he will sustain me so that I will pay my tithes! Guess, what God made sure every bill was paid each time. In addition to that, during this time people would constantly DM asking for advice or say I am book coaching but never did. So my spirits were pretty low. It seemed like I was always asking my friends to pray for me. Something, I felt like I was struggling with talking to God because my prayers seemed like they were coming out of despair versus true communication with Our Father.
Also during this time, my boyfriend and I were having issues in our relationship that comes from co-parenting with his child’s mother. To say I was an emotional wreck all the time was an understatement. Then one day, God brought a friend into my life. Well, she had been reading my blog for some time. One day for some reason one of us reached out to talk. Ever since we talk every day. Brandy and her family have played a pivotal role in my life since they came in.
Okay, so to fast forward to June life is still very hectic and I am smiling through it every day. I am sending encouraging words to friends when they are in my mind or heart. People are seeking out my advice, and hey I am giving it to them. At the start of March I knew I would not be able to pay my student loans. If you been following the blog for awhile, you know how extremely proud I am of getting my credit back align. Devastation hit me hard about how I was going to handle this. I only told Brandy about it and said I would figure it out. My student loans are processed by Naivent and AESuccess. Prior to my financial issues arising I was paying more on my student loans to help me get out of debt faster. Thank goodness I was doing this. By paying extra on my account, it helped me accumulate enough money that I don’t have to make payments on AESuccess until August and Naivent until December. This is nothing but God having the provision ready for when it was needed. I just cried and said thank you over and over. Many times we hear stories about God providing provisions for others, and we are like why not me. Well, there is my story of a provision that showed me miracles are real. My friend Katrice, editor of Atlanta Tribune, tweeted this Friday and it was like does she know what’s happening in my life?
When you look up and realize something God built up in you during that trial you thought you barely made it through.
Now to this past Tuesday when everything came to ahead. Actually, Monday God told me that I would have no original clients going into July. At first, I was like God must’ve meant to tell someone else that because my clients are ride or dies. Come Tuesday, guess who found out she had no clients going into July. Yeah, there was a moment of panic that was overridden by peace within minutes. He told me this was going to happen. Once again, I text Brandy about this. I even tweeted:
Sometimes, God is striping you of everything not for punishment but to strengthen you for what is next. You can’t hold on to it forever. When you want to level up in life, things can not remain the same. A shift from one level to the next means moving in uncharted waters
Honestly, it felt there was God removing everything that was me. The things that I used to define myself as successful or who I was to the world. In the last couple weeks, I have had some very clear dreams about stuff that made no sense at all to me in the natural realm. I will just say, I knew all of this was going to happen before it took place. I mentioned to Brandy what was going on and she said she would pray. I was reading The Prayer Warrior’s Way that she sent me earlier this year but felt it wasn’t per se for me at that moment to read when I first received it. Picking it up this week, I can not put it down. During one of the chapters, I thought I needed Brandy and her family to pray for me. Within an hour she texted me her sister, Crystal was not happy about me losing all my clients and wanted to pray for me that night.
Let me make something clear; I have never been the person to allow people to pray over me. Too many people have ill intentions. I have never been the person to have others walk up to me and confirm things. That night some personal stuff was happening, and I just was not in the mood to have this call when she texted me. Then something said no you need this prayer. I am not going to say exacts of what was told to me, but things that I had prayed that morning, had visions about and more were confirmed in this call with her family. I am not a huge shouting Amen person, I am very quiet and lift my hands worship type of person.
Has my circumstance of finances changed since that call on Tuesday, no I don’t have retainer clients, but I do have a couple of anniversary session calls this month and one consultation. However, all my bills are paid for this month without having to reach into my savings account or ask my dad. My dad uses to be my real life savings account always bailing me out.
If you have read all of this, thank you because I know this has been extremely long. I don’t know if you believe in the God I believe in. I don’t know if you’re currently in a situation where it feels like your back is up against the wall. What I will say is that if this hypersensitive woman such as myself can get up everyday and power through you can too. I will note that I go to therapy which, I found a free therapist that is rather amazing. Do I know what my future holds, do I know if August I will sign a plethora of clients? No, I don’t know. My goal for the month of July is to breathe for once in these last eight years.
There was a moment when I closed my laptop and said that’s all. I had nothing else to give to this post. Then some anxiety crept in regarding judgment the internet would pass. “Oh she is a fraud, how can she help me when her business is suffering” and other thoughts. It made me not want to publish this piece. Then I thought my goal in life is not to be liked by man, it’s to bring God the glory. Even if it’s not Hollywood pretty, or curated for Instagram, it’s my actual truth that I am currently walking in. My success is not defined by what other’s think but more so of what I think of myself and things I know for fact. Such as; I have taken countless ideas clients have given me and turned them into profitable businesses. I have equipped women and men with the tools, resources, and insight they need to go after their dreams and more. That’s what matters right now to me.